10 Most Hilarious Kenyan Makanga’s Responses

Kenya is known for its outstanding Matatu Culture.

In the Matatu Industry, touts also known as makangas, conductors, dondas, or konkodis are the most arrogant creatures. They give witty and stupid answers to simplest of questions.

They definitely need to have chills mehn.

At that particular moment you might get furious, but still laugh later after reflecting the kind of humor instilled in a response.

Nairobi Gossip Club presents the top 10 Kenyan matatu touts’ responses.

Also read: Lipunda Masters. Top 10 male Kenyan celebrities who can destroy your girlfriend’s nunu.

  1. A kenyan Girl on the Mat’s way.

Kenyan Conductor: Madam ondokea gari, ama unadhani hii ni mboro ikikuona itasimama.

2. A saved woman complaining about the secular music.

Woman: Tuwekee ngoma za yesu.

Conductor: Yesu bado hajatoa Album.

3. Passenger: Ongeza volume tuskize Mwalimu King’angi.

Conductor: Ungeskiza mwalimu wa shule ungekuwa na gari yako saa hii, si kutusumbua hapa na King’angi.

4.  Passenger: Na hii gari ina joto.

Conductor: Shuka upande fridge.

Also read: Top 10 Rib-cracking Swahili quotes and jokes

5. Kwa Stage: When the donda asks whether a passenger is boarding.

Conductor: Boss unaenda?

Passenger: Hapana, Niko poa.

Conductor: Si wote tuko poa. Wagonjwa wako hosi.

6. Passenger: Shukisha Dere

Conductor: Tukishukisha dere utaendesha gari.

7. When a passenger is asking about the fare.

Passenger: Ruaka ni how Much?

Conductor: Sijaskia Ruaka ikiuzwa. Nikiskia ntakushow.

8. Passenger: Roysambu ni ngapi?

Conductor: Roysambu ni moja. Unless Chinese wamejenga nyingine.

9. Passenger: Mwisho wa gari ni wapi?

Conductor: Mwisho ni hapo place yenye number plate iko.

10. A lady asking for direction.

Slay Queen: Excuse me. Gari Za Mwiki Zinapandiwa wapi?

Conductor: Ziliacha kupandwa juu hazimei.

Also read: 38 Rib-cracking Matatu sticker’s ‘quotes’.

11. Conda: Beba beba tao twende!

Plump Chic: Ni ngapi?

Conda: Tao ni 70 msuper

Plump Chic: Ai siezi lipa hio!

Conda: Haya juu uko na tyre kwa tumbo, roll hadi tao, nkt!

12. Conductor: Madam, kuna seats pale nyuma.

Passenger: Siwezi kaa seats za nyuma. Nataka ya mbele.

Conductor: Kwani za nyuma ziko nje ya gari? Basi wacha dereva ashuke ukae mbele.

13. Passenger: Dere harakisha nimechelewa.

Conductor: Ungekuwa na haraka ungeanza safari jana.

 

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